Monday, June 9, 2008

Communication skills

Communication skills

Here are 6 great tips you can use:


1. Awareness of your own interaction with other people is the first step in improving your communication skills.
Learn to identify which types of situations make you uncomfortable and then modify your behavior to achieve positive results is a critical step in improving your communication skills.
You can learn to become aware of behaviors in other people that prompt you to respond in negative ways and modify your own behavior to turn the situation into a positive experience.


2. You must accept responsibility for your own behavior and do not fear apologizing for errors in judgment or insensitive actions.
Asking others for honest feedback about the way you interact with others can be very helpful. Accept the negative feedback along with the positive and make changes accordingly.


3. Your non-verbal communication is equally as important as the things that you say. Positive body language is extremely important in your interactions with other people.
If your words and your actions do not match, you will have a difficult time succeeding in social situations.


4. In order to learn how to improve your communication skills, you must become a great listener. You must fight the urge to respond immediately and really listen to what the other person is trying to communicate.
Offering suggestions or criticism before you are certain of the other person's intent can only lead to frustration for both parties.


5. Improving your communication skills is a process and cannot be accomplished overnight. Trying to improve or change too many things at once will be counter-productive.
You will become discouraged and overwhelmed if you attempt to change your entire personality all at once. Choose one or two traits at a time and work on those over a period of time. Learn to take advantage of your personal strengths and make a positive impact on others.


6. Maximize your positive personality traits and use them in your interactions with others. Good communication and great listening skills are the most important tools you can use in improving your communication skills.
You can learn how to improve your communication skills by developing excellent listening skills, learning to resolve problems and conflicts, understanding body language, and accepting responsibility for your own negative behavior.
Determination and self-awareness will make your desire to improve your communication skills a reality.
You can change your life and now is the time to start.Exceptional communication skills can be Learned...and Mastered!!!


People Management

Conflict at Work

We rely on and spend more time with our colleagues than with most other people in our lives: yet we frequently experience conflict at work. This is a problem that is beginning to be recognised, but it is still not being dealt with either effectively or sufficiently.
Conflict is such a broad term for what can be experienced, ranging from office gossip to outright being physically aggressive. In nearly every single office there are always going to be personality clashes at some point, and most of the time they will be fairly easily sorted out. However, sometimes they aren't and there is often no other option than to resign.


The real problem underlying this situation is that people really don't have the skills to deal with these kinds of situations. They frequently accept the problem when it is happening and then get really upset afterwards.

Friends - There Five Strategies for Dealing with Conflict:
1. Avoidance also can be know as Ignoring (I Lose / You Lose): This is the most frequently used strategy along with accommodation. Here conflict is avoided and when it does appear the person using this strategy refuses to engage in the situation.
Example:Someone making a sly comment and the person it was aimed at simply walking away.
While this obviously is not a good way of dealing with conflict the majority of the time as it tends not to help, it is worth being considered as a strategy for when the conflict is just not worth the effort of being addressed.

2. Accommodation also can be know as Looking Good (I Lose / You Win): Here you take the conflict and submit.
Example:Listening to unhelpful criticism and believing it.
Again, very frequently used especially where there is low confidence and self-esteem. This is another not very successful method of dealing with conflict, but it will do if you know that there is a solutioncoming soon.

3. Compete (I Win / You Lose)This one means that you play the person at his or her own game and work hard to get your own way in the conflict.
Example:Someone starts spreading rumours about you, so you do the same in return in an attempt to discredit the power of the other person's word.
This can be very useful when the conflict is mild and you are passionate about your stance, but can lead to a vicious circle as the conflict escalates. Be very sure you want to use this strategy as lowering yourself to someone else's level rarely shows you in the best light.

4. Compromise (Illusion of I Win / You Win but not in real sense, its more of an adjustment from both the sides....but the pinch is still there) A much more useful tactic to use: here you don't give in to the conflict, but work out a solution somewhere between the two sides.
Example:Someone delegates a huge amount of work to your already over-filled plate, you respond by taking on some of it, and then recommending that this person parcel out the rest to other people.
This is the strategy of choice for most untrained managers as this is how we frequently deal with children in real life - and so it is a behaviour we all know about. This can of course lead to the obvious downfall of the actual solution leaving none of the sides happy. This is best to use when the goal is to get past the issue and move on - with the issue having relatively little significance.

5. Collaborate (Actually I Win / You Win) ( You start working on Alternative Options) The most useful tactic, particularly with extremesof conflict such as bullying. The aim here is to focus on working together to arrive at a solution, where both sides have ownership of and commitment to the solution.
Example 1:You and someone else are at completely opposed viewpoints over a project. You sit down with them and work out why they believe in their point of view, and explain your own. Clever and lateral thinking can provide a solution, which answers both sides, but is not a compromise.
Example 2:Someone is bullying you at work. You talk to this person and collaborate on modifying their behaviour.
Use this strategy when the goal is to meet as many of the current needs as is possible. The most difficult strategy if confidence is low as it involves actually naming the issue to the conflict-creator, which can cause huge anxiety and fear.
To collaborate successfully on an issue such as continuing conflict you need to follow a few basic guidelines.
You must recognise that part of the problem is your own fault: you allowed it to happen and did not try to address it to begin with. You can use this aloud and actively take part of the responsibility, as this will put the onus onto the other person to take the other part of the responsibility.
Remember that we frequently don't like in others what we don't want to see in ourselves, but find occasionally anyway. Be very sure that you have not committed the same conflict and that you do not inthe future.
Manage yourself during the resolution attempt - learn calming strategies if you are hot-tempered, or confidence boosters if you are shy. Do not to be emotional, as emotion will only make things escalate.
Maintain eye contact and use your body language to convey your belief in what you are saying.
Don't fiddle with something nervously, don't cross your arms protectively, and don't put yourself on a lower level than the other person (such as sitting on a lower chair).
Don't believe that the best defence is a good offence - that is part of the Competing strategy.
Work the issue, not the person: this means addressing the behaviour rather than the entire existence of that person. There is a different level of ownership for behaviours, and people will take less offence if you criticise their behaviour than if you criticise them personally.
Never lay blame, as this will only fan the fires.
If you are not getting anywhere, ask for further information from the other person about the reasons for their behaviour, but don't ask the questions with 'why' at the beginning - if you do this will actively put the other person under the spotlight and they will get defensive.Remember above all, that people who enjoy creating conflict are ultimately power-seekers who enjoy controlling others. Frequently this is because either they have suffered in a similar way before or feel that they have very little control over their own lives and does anything they can to feel in control. A little compassion will take you a long way both in resolving the situation and in putting it behind you when it is resolved. One of the most important strategies for collaboration is to start "Listening First".


Management Mantras by Dhirubhai Ambani

Management Mantras by Dhirubhai Ambani

The article from Mukesh Ambani states the following:I would like to share some of my father’s management mantras that we at Reliance cherish:

• Growth has no limit – Keep revising your vision:If you make one grand plan, and then stick to it without updating it with new inputs, adapting to new forces and adopting new practices, then it is a recipe for disaster. Remember, a goal is worth it only if you get there. And growth is life.

• Leap, look, leap:There’s a saying that there are only three kinds of people. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. And those who say, what happened? Those that belong to the first category think big, project with clear vision and then move with great speed to achieve their goal.

• Nurture and motivate the youth:The youth are energetic, brimming with ideas, talent and a desire to excel. Extend them the support they need, nurture them. Each one of them has infinite source of energy. Create the right environment and they will deliver with glorious returns on investment.

• Build competencies:Holding people hostage to core competencies restricts them. It is more productive to create competencies around people and processes to create value. This promotes flexibility, encourages growth and the value add-on will far exceed anything a conventional approach can bring.

• Break out of your orbit:The world is a series of hierarchically stacked orbits. To be successful, you must break out of your orbit and enter the one above. After a spin in that orbit, you must break into the next one, and so on till you reach the top.

• Bet on people – ‘trust’ is a five-letter word for success:Trust is the most valuable thing you will earn and it is also the most valuable thing you can give. There is nothing like partial trust—you either trust completely or not at all. Trust is the foundation of growth.

• Reject incremental thinking:Piecemeal, blinkered and incremental thinking guarantees slow and stunted growth. True growth can come only with lateral thinking, with multiple options and paths to attain a goal. Always encourage people to think out-of-the-box. Ideas are no one’s monopoly.

• Be humble:Humility in success is the greatest virtue. Realise that success is a matter of hard work and teamwork—of employees, shareholders and well-wishers. Never let them down and always make them feel they are part of the family. In turn, they will never let you down.

• Shun pretence:A leader is not afraid to say he—or she—doesn’t know. There is no equitable distribution of knowledge, expertise and energy. Do what you can do to acquire knowledge and apply it. Delegate the rest to the best.

• Detail. Detail. Detail:God is in the detail. Worship it. There isn’t a single successful individual, enterprise or nation that has succeeded without paying attention to detail. Some will argue and say ‘simplify’. I say, simplify the process but never forsake detail. Work with determination and perfection, and success will follow.

• Achievement is history. Look ahead:This is often the most difficult to achieve but the most crucial for continued success. Any achievement is instant history; it becomes the past as soon as it is achieved. How you build on that achievement will decide how far you go

Qualities Required

Beautiful Story of Dreams

Sometimes we get what we need and not what we want..........
Once there were 3 trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes & dreams when the 1st tree said, "Someday, I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver & precious gems & be decorated with intricate carvings. Everyone would see my beauty."
The 2nd tree said, "Someday, I will be a mighty ship. I'll take kings & queens across the waters & sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."
Finally, the 3rd tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest & straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill & look up to my branches & think of the heavens & God and how close to them I'm reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time, and people will always remember me."
After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. One came to the 1st tree and said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter," and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.
At the 2nd tree, one of the other woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree. I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The 2nd tree was happy, because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.
When the woodsmen came upon the 3rd tree, the tree was frightened, because it knew that, if it was cut down, its dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree, so I'll take this one," and he cut it down.
When the 1st tree arrived at the carpenter's, he was made into a feed box for animals, placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for.
The 2nd tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship & carrying kings had come to an end. The 3rd tree was cut into large pieces & left alone in the dark.
The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams. Then a man & woman came to the barn. She gave birth & they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the 1st tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event & knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.
Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the 2nd tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose, and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood & said "Peace," and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.
Finally, someone came & got the 3rd tree. It was carried through the streets, and the crowd mocked the man who was carrying it. Finally, the man was nailed to the tree & raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill & be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.
THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS THAT, WHEN THINGS DON'T SEEM TO BE GOING YOUR WAY, ALWAYS KNOW THAT GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU. IF YOU PLACE YOUR TRUST IN HIM, HE WILL GIVE YOU GREAT GIFTS. EACH OF THE TREES GOT WHAT THEY WANTED, JUST NOT IN THE WAY THEY HAD IMAGINED. WE DON'T ALWAYS KNOW WHAT GOD'S PLANS ARE FOR US. We JUST KNOW THAT HIS WAYS ARE NOT OUR WAYS.

10 Tips for a happier Life

Don’t worry Worry is the least productive of all human activities and thoughts….

Don’t let needless fears preoccupy your life... Most of things we fear never happen!!! .

Don’t hold grudges...That is one of the biggest and most unnecessary weights we carry through our lives..

Take on one problem at a time It’s the only way to handle things anyway..one by one..

Don’t take your problems to bed with you. They are bad and unhealthy companions for good natural sleep and rest...

Don’t take on the problems of other people.. They are better equipped to handle their own problems than you are..

Don’t live in the past.It will always be there in your memories to enjoy..but don’t cling to it.

Concentrate on what is happening right now in your life..and you will be happy in the present also..not just the past.

Be a good listener. It is only when one listens..that one gets and learns ideas different from ones own...

Do not let frustration ruin and rule your life... Self pity more than anything..interferes with positive actions..with moving forwards in our lives.

Count your blessings... Don’t even forget the smallest blessings.. As many small blessings add up to large ones...

Inspring Notes

Philosophy for life

3 Things in Life

Three irrevocable things in your life are …Word... Time... and Chance.

Three undeniable things in your life are …Serenity... Honesty... and Hope...

Three gems of your life are...Love... Self-Esteem... and true friends

Three uncertainities in your life are...Dreams... Success... and fate.

Three things that deteriorate your life are ... Arrogance... Liquor... and anger.

Kind hearts are the garden…Kind thoughts are the roots…Kind words are the blossoms…Kind deeds are the fruits…